Congratulations! You successfully made it through Dry January. You most likely just experienced 31 days of clarity… and having an excuse as to why you’re not drinking. Whether today is February 1st for you (or it’s just a random day), what on Earth do you do when you want to keep up your newly found alcohol-free lifestyle, but you no longer have the safety net of a month with a catchy slogan tied to it?
Here’s where you have to have an honest conversation with yourself… what do you want for your life? How did the past 31 days make you feel?
On May 1st of last year, I was standing at the same crossroads as you are today. I had to ask myself, “Do I stay or do I go?” I knew that me as a person wanted to stop drinking. It just doesn’t suit me. I can never shake the hangovers, and I don’t bounce back the way others do. If I could have it my way, I would absolutely stop drinking. So why did I feel like I was at a crossroads? Honestly, I was worried people would think I was boring and didn’t have a personality.
This is where I recommend Stay Alcohol-Free Tip #1:
Start observing others around you
If you go out with a group of friends, let them order their drinks first. What do they order? I know I started doing this when I’d go to brunch with people. I always assumed everyone wanted to have bottomless mimosas at brunch, but if I let them order first most likely they were getting a coffee or an iced tea. Upon reflection, if I ordered first I was typically the one getting the party started with bottomless mimosas. Now don’t get me wrong, your friend group could absolutely be trying to start the party early, but if you let everyone order first and you go last, you still have the ability to order whatever you want. I typically just go the coffee route. If anyone questions it, just have an “excuse” ready to go- “Oh, I just really need to caffeinate this morning” or “Oh, I gotta head over to this other thing right after this” (Works every time!)
In addition to seeing what your friends order first, I had my work colleagues in town, back in October 2023, and that was actually when I started my observations. I knew one person on my team didn’t drink alcohol, but it turned out there was actually a few people who didn’t drink. I remember the day everyone got into town, and settled into their hotels, we went out for lunch and then walked over to Broadway to check out a few bars. Here, for the very first time, I saw my alcohol-free colleague and a pregnant colleague hanging out and enjoying their time alongside those who were ordering rounds of drinks. Now I understand the pregnant person not wanting to drink, but I just loved how she was enjoying herself and still having a good time. And my other colleague was having a blast too. Then as the work days went on, I found out my Director doesn’t drink alcohol either. I had planned for us to check out Nashville via a party bus, and they enjoyed it just as much as the next person- because you can bring your own canned drinks on those things! We had La Croix, Liquid Death, and all of the hard seltzers the rest of the team wanted. As the night progressed, those 3 either stayed out later than I did- or one of them did an Irish Goodbye. No one was upset about it either- everyone had to be up the next day, and everyone was respectful about how late each person wanted to stay out. That work trip was truly the first time I realized that A) you can be out on Broadway and not drink (and still have a good time), and B) no one was upset with any of them for not drinking. I truly believe that seeing these 3 on that work trip helped to set me on my alcohol-free journey.
Tip #2: Is there anyone for you to look up to in the alcohol-free space?
The reason I recommended podcasts as a way to stay motivated during Dry January, is because I personally found myself needing to hear other people’s stories in order to keep going. (As a refresher in case you didn’t see that Instagram post, my top recommendations are: 1. The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck Podcast with Mark Manson, 2. The Rich Roll Podcast, 3. The Killjoy Afterparty and 4. This Past Weekend with Theo Von). Some of these podcasts are sober podcasts, but moreover they are about people sharing their stories about why they stopped drinking and what has kept them going. Over the summer, I found myself really wanting to hear other people’s stories. I pretty much listen to these podcasts on a weekly basis (aside from Girls Next Level, Giggly Squad and my Bravo gossip podcasts), because I need to hear from others too. I also like when I’m scrolling on Instagram, and I come across a celebrity interview where they talk about why they stopped drinking. I like to post these to the “Booze Free” Instagram Stories, that way hopefully one of them resonates for you too. Sometimes I find myself pleasantly surprised when I come across celebrities too- Nikki Glaser? Tom Holland? Kim Kardashian? To me, if they can do it then so can I!
Tip #3 Can you “challenge” yourself to stop drinking?
I’ll elaborate on these examples in future posts, but in the past ten months I have put myself through some “challenges”. These challenges aren’t life or death, or anything crazy, but were various situations I’d find myself in on a regular basis, where they would be easy-to-drink-alcohol opportunities, but I knew if I could “survive” these “challenges” sober, then I could do anything alcohol-free. Some of the “challenges” include: going to a work dinner with clients and not drinking, going to any work party, having free drinks offered at the event, going abroad for work, going to a winery with a friend while abroad, going out with an old-drinking buddy who happened to be in Nashville for a weekend, going on a date, going out on Broadway, and having my mom go through some medical issues. I can proudly say I have triumphed in all of these situations. It turns out, I could “challenge” myself to make it through these hurdle-filled situations and did them all without drinking. If I can do it, you can do it. Are there any areas in your life where you can “challenge” yourself?
Next up, you need to have a serious conversation with yourself…
Here are some important questions you need to ask yourself:
- Why is it important for you to continue on the alcohol-free path? What is your “why”?
2. What do you want out of your life?
3. Are there other areas of your life where you’re super disciplined? Do you think you can apply that same level of discipline to remaining alcohol-free?
4. What would it take for you to want to be unwavering about staying alcohol-free?
5. What is your plan if someone offers you a drink/puts you down in front of others for not drinking/or you know being in a certain situation will make you want to drink? (aka what is your plan for handling put downs and peer pressure?)
7. Do you feel like you can maintain this new lifestyle with your current friend group? Are you willing to expand your circle of friends and check out alcohol-free friendly events in your area?
7. What does your perfect day look like, and what do you need to do to attain that?
8. What kind of friend are you, and what kind of friend do you want to be?
9. Do you still see yourself being able to have fun at an event, knowing that you have no intention of drinking alcohol?
10. Are you okay if you have uneventful evenings and/or weekends?
11. Do you need to find a purpose within being alcohol-free?
Just like Smokey the Bear said, “Only you can prevent forest fires”. But in this case, only you know why it’s important for you to no longer drink alcohol. I stood in your exact same spot as you when I was 30 days sober. Now that I have more time under my belt, I can confidently tell you that you will be more supported than you can ever imagine, and you can still live a full and robust life without alcohol. It’s all up to you. All you can do is live the best life you can, for yourself. And only you know the answer to that question.
In case you’re interested, or need some inspiration, here’s how I would answer those questions:
- Why is it important for you to continue on the alcohol-free path? What is your “why”
A: For me, it has truly been the small things and it has been important for me to remain consistent and have my mornings.
2. What do you want out of your life?
A. I want to be able to enjoy my days, and I simply can’t afford to have alcohol throw me off or take me out because I’m sick as a dog and trying to recover.
3. Are there other areas of your life where you’re super disciplined? Do you think you can apply that level of discipline to remaining alcohol-free?
A: This is a true question I asked myself, and I knew I had discipline in certain areas but I wasn’t sure if I WANTED to apply that same level of discipline to not drinking alcohol. I do not eat red meat or pork, and I officially stopped when I was 8 years old (but I never liked it so I truly feel like it’s been since I was 3 or 4). Because I have 32+ years of discipline with this, I knew I could do it, but I was also worried that it would make me the person who literally didn’t eat or drink anything (I also don’t drink Coca-Cola or any brown sodas). So yes, I am now a person who doesn’t drink alcohol, or sodas, nor do I eat red meat or pork, and you know what- I still go out and I still have people who understand and accept this about me.
4. What would it take for you to want to be unwavering about staying alcohol-free?
A: Now, I feel I’ve had to take an unwavering stance this past year to stop drinking. In addition to the early mornings and consistency I now have, I have also had to deal with my mom going through Breast Cancer-related surgeries. It’s not easy having a parent who’s going through a bunch of treatments, or recoveries or surgeries but I finally had to tell myself I needed to stop drinking so I could have a clear head and a clear heart while she goes through this.
5. What is your plan if someone offers you a drink/puts you down in front of others for not drinking/or you know being in a certain situation will make you want to drink? (aka what is your plan for handling put downs and peer pressure?)
A: Now even I have dealt with a hand full of put downs. I would say 97% of this year has been amazing with the level of support and friends who have stayed by my side while I have made this decision- but I’ve also had some interesting interactions with people too. For example, I was on a work trip back in May and I was one month into not drinking, and I sat next to a client at a dinner and under her breath I heard her say, “Ugh, I always get seated next to the sober one”. I pretended I didn’t hear her, continued drinking my water, and then told my colleagues they needed to deal with her for the rest of the time we were with her. At a Bar Crawl (I’ll get into this when Tourist season kicks in again), I had a Customer try to buy me a drink and wouldn’t get me a water or club soda, so I had to just go get my own when he came back to our table without my drink. When we were walking to the next bar, he asked me where the nearest Casino was and I told him I wasn’t sure and he said something along the lines of, “So you don’t drink, you don’t smoke, and you don’t go to Casinos… what exactly do you do?? And how did I respond? I told him, “Gee, I guess I’m just a really boring person now that I think about it!” When it comes to put downs, you gotta roll with it but you also don’t have to continue to be around these people. After those interactions, I knew I’d never see them again so I just interacted with other people and didn’t spend any additional time with those trying to put me down. How do I handle peer pressure? A) I try to make sure I’m going to events that I know I can handle, and have my “unwavering” ability to remain sober and B) Yes, I’ve been offered drinks (and even drugs) numerous times since quitting drinking but I’ve also found that people have been super respectful when I tell them I’ve stopped (and for the record, I don’t do drugs- so that will never happen).
6. Do you feel like you can maintain this new lifestyle with your current friend group?
A: Have I outgrown some friends since I stopped drinking? Yes. Have I maintained most of my friendships since going alcohol-free? Also, yes. Have I gotten back in touch with old friends because we discovered we’re both not drinking anymore? Also, yes. Have I gone out of my way to try to make more friends, or even meet people at non-alcoholic events? Also, yes. What I’m trying to say here is, I’ve maintained the majority of my friends but I actually feel like I have more friends and incredible people in my life since I made this decision.
7. Are you willing to expand your circle of friends and check out alcohol-free friendly events in your area?
A: Last summer I started attending various events over at Killjoy (Nashville’s Booze-Free Beverage shop). Sometimes I have friends who want to join me, but it’s also important to me to go when it’s just me. There’s always people to talk to, and everyone is super friendly. It may be worth putting yourself out there, and trying to meet new people via different organizations or events. You don’t have to ditch your current friend group, but it’s also important to expand it.
8. What does your perfect day look like, and what do you need to do to attain that? - A: My perfect day has me waking up between 6 or 7 am, working out, walking, accomplishing a bunch of stuff (work or errands) and then meeting up with a friend in the evening, all while ideally being in bed by 9 or 10. I can’t do any of that if I’m drinking.
9. What kind of friend are you, and what kind of friend do you want to be?
A: I’m proud to say I am a “brunch friend”, “workout friend”, “go check something out during the day” friend, or “nice dinner in a nice outfit” friend. I am not your “rager” friend, or “ready-and-willing-to-go-out-after-10-pm” friend, and I’m not the person you want to call if you want to do a bunch of shots. I think it finally took me realizing who I really am, to finally admit who it is I really want to be.
10. Do you still see yourself being able to have fun at an event, knowing that you have no intention of drinking alcohol?
A: This is why I mentioned observing what others do- when I saw I had work buddies who could go out on Broadway for multiple days, and still be present and still be fun and not drink a drop of alcohol- that’s when I knew I had the ability to also go out and be fun and not drink.
11. Are you okay if you have uneventful evenings and/or weekends?
A: I’ve had a lot of uneventful evenings and weekends this past year. I’ve learned and become okay with not always having to be out doing things. Do I still go out a decent amount? Yes. Do I go out as much as I did when I drank? No. Am I okay with that? Yes. Has my newfound free-time paved ways for me to find ways to monetize it? Also, yes. More on that to come!
12. Do you need to find a purpose within being alcohol-free?
A: I realized it was important for me to find a purpose in order to remain alcohol-free. Back in December, before I started this blog, I realized I needed a purpose that could keep me going. My Mom had finished up her last cancer-related treatment, and is now fully cancer free, and my friends knew I would be unwavering about my desire to not drink at this time, but what do I tell them when I say she’s all better? Honestly, that’s how “Booze Free in Music City” was born. I kept trying to come up with different ideas in my head (meetings? Etc), but a friend came up to me at a Holiday party and asked me how I’ve been able to go out and not drink and be confident in it. I told her it was easier than you think, and I truly feel Nashville has a lot to offer for those who don’t drink. A couple of days later, I was at the gym and “Booze Free in Music City” popped into my head. I went home and looked it up online, and saw no one was using it. Whether I found my purpose, or my purpose found me- all I know is, I now have that unwavering ability to keep my commitment to myself, while also showing others how I’ve been able to do it. My best piece of advice would be to find your purpose for remaining alcohol-free ❤
Booze Free in Music City 
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