Booze Free in Music City

Back in June of 2024, I was getting ready to go out on my first date as an alcohol-free person. This was a date with someone I had matched with on a dating app. I really didn’t know how to bring up the fact that I stopped drinking- and I didn’t. My profile has always said I drink “sometimes”. We had been texting for a few days, and he let me pick the spot. The Coral Club had just opened, in East Nashville, and I reallyyyy wanted to check it out. For the couple of days leading up to our date, I was beyond stressed. I didn’t bring it up initially, and I don’t have a problem with alcohol, so do I need to bring it up? Am I okay if I just show up and then drop the I-don’t-drink-alcohol anymore bomb on him? Finally, it was the day of our date. I was still nervous, but also excited to get this first awkward / no alcohol date out of the way. I was in the middle of my work day, and was just about to start getting ready- when I got a text. He had messaged me informing me that he was cancelling our date, because he was also talking to someone else and things had progressed, and he wanted to focus his time and energy there. And just like that- our date was cancelled. I had just spent days agonizing and stressing over this date, and then it just… didn’t happen. I stressed myself out for no reason. I had experienced my first non-alcoholic date without ever having gone out on the actual date.

              In a way I’m grateful that guy cancelled on me, because it helped me to gain a better perspective on what I was looking for. I immediately updated my drinking status to “doesn’t drink alcohol”, and now I bring it up whether I’m talking to someone online or in person. This situation helped me to realize what it is I want in a partner, and what I don’t want. Dating in any sense of the word can be difficult, and not drinking alcohol doesn’t make it any easier. Trust me- I’m no Love Guru here, so I don’t have a ton of advice on dating, but I can share some of my own experiences and things I’ve observed.

When starting to date, as someone who doesn’t drink, there are some important questions you need to ask yourself:

1. What do you want in a partner?

2. What are your non-negotiables?

3. What are you okay with your partner doing?

4. What are you willing to allow into your life?

For me, I’m okay with a partner who drinks but I don’t want them to be a major partier by any stretch of the word. Drugs are a non-negotiable too (weed is okay because I grew up on the West Coast, but I am not okay with anything else).

Next up, you need to have a game plan. I started to construct my game plan once I realized I didn’t want to drop a I-don’t-drink-alcohol bomb on dudes when we are sitting across from each other on the first date. Obviously, everyone is different, and not everyone feels comfortable going out to a bar and not drinking. For me personally, I’m not triggered when I’m at a bar/restaurant, so I can handle it. I now also realize that me being open to going to a bar could’ve thrown that original guy off. Looking back, I went on a date with a guy, when I first moved to Nashville, and he dropped the I-don’t-drink-alcohol bomb on me once we sat down for coffee on our first date. I was totally fine with us meeting for coffee, but he was in recovery and had just moved into his own apartment after living at home during his recovery time, and it just wasn’t the right situation for me at the time. Like, he was just putting the pieces of his life back together. Four years ago, I did not have sobriety and being alcohol-free in my vocabulary. I wasn’t ready for that guy. I wish him the very best, and hope he has found the right person, but part of me realizing I wasn’t the one for him was not being told about his sobriety until we were sitting down and meeting for the first time. It can be a lot, and people need time to decide what they want and don’t want in their dating life.

What I’m trying to get at here is, you need to date where you’re at and where you’re most comfortable. I personally feel there is a bunch of stuff you can do on first dates, and beyond, here in Nashville. First and foremost, it has become pretty common practice to have first dates be pretty laid back…

My top four first date ideas in Nashville are:

1. Forevermore in East Nashville- this is my top pick because it’s laid back enough, but also shows you put some thought into the date spot. You can meet for coffee during the day or opt to grab a mocktail with them when they are open as Afterhours on Fridays and Saturdays
2. Go for a walk around Centennial Park– you can either bring a picnic basket or meet at the Starbucks across from the park, and then walk over together
3. Go for a walk around 12South– Sevier park is located across the street from White’s Mercantile, and you can even stroll past all of the shops too. There are coffee shops sprinkled up and down the street, so that’s always a great option. You can order coffees to go at places like Hearts or Frothy Monkey! Also, they have a Bar Taco in 12South, and they have super affordable food plus $4 Agua Frescas!
4. Meet up at the Nashville Farmer’s Market (albeit not when it’s the height of tourist season), and go for a stroll and grab a mocktail over at the Mockery

Top date spots if you want the focus to be on an activity:

Depending on who I’m trying to set up a date with, sometimes I like suggesting a date where there’s an activity. If I know we’re both nervous, or both not drinking, it’s nice to have something to do so we’re not worrying about keeping up with a conversation!

1. Playdate in 12South- this is bar/restaurant that also features boardgames and outdoor games. I also recommend this place because you can go for a walk or take pictures at different murals, so the amount of activities you can do is endless
2. Pins Mechanical in the Gulch- this place is great because there are multiple rooms with activities to do including arcade games, duckpin bowling, and lawn games to name a few!
3. Passage Kava Lounge in Madison- this place is great if you want a laidback spot that offers nothing but nonalcoholic options. They have lots of boardgames to play, and they host an array of events throughout the week including live music
4. Puttshack in the Gulch- this spot is right next to Pins Mechanical, but if you’re more in the mood for an indoor round of miniature golf then I highly recommend this spot. If the dates going well, and you don’t want it to end, you can go up the set of stairs to Paris Baguette and enjoy a sweet treat and coffee
5. Eastside Bowl in Madison- located in the same space as Passage, this is a great spot if you want to take them on a lowkey retro date. You can bowl, enjoy a game of pool and still enjoy drinks from their non-alcoholic menu

Top date spots for epic ambiance
(and they all have non-alcoholic drink offerings):

I cannot wait for the weather to get better here in Nashville! I absolutely love rooftops, and the super cute/kitschy bars we have here in Nashville

1. Tall Tales at the Waymore hotel– I highly recommend this spot because they have an outdoor rooftop space where it’s quiet, scenic, and you have a gorgeous view of downtown Nashville. Also, one of their bartenders is sober and put together a very thoughtful non-alcoholic menu. I’ve also gone up to the bartenders before and asked them to create a mocktail, and they were happy to put something together
2. Reunion in East Nashville- I love this spot because they have a super affordable non-alcoholic menu plus three different levels of the bar- indoor, outdoor, and rooftop. You’re also in the heart of Five Points, so if you want to meander anywhere else you totally have food and other hotspots within your reach
3. The Coral Club in East Nashville- this place feels like you have left Nashville and were transported to Tulum, Mexico. This bar is so chic, there are candles everywhere, and it’s super romantic
4. Pont Neuf in L&L Market- this spot is super sweet, and super laid back yet elegant. The Owner is married to the Owner of Nashville’s famous Amelia’s Flower Truck. They needed to find a home to park the truck, so they created a bar around it! They have amazing NA wines and hand-crafted mocktails, as well as light bites. They also have conversation starter cards on the tables, so if you need some conversation prompts they have them right there for you!
5. Rarebird Rooftop bar at the Noelle Hotel in Downtown Nashville- If you want to take in a view of the Batman building, and enjoy a beautiful Spring/Summer day, then I highly recommend this spot. They have light bites, big bites, and NA beverages to boot!

Top Coffee spots:

1. Café Babu
2. Forevermore
3. Neighborlily
4. Crema
5. Drift hotel

Ways to meet like minded people:

I get it- all of these date spots sound great, but you need to find a date first! Well, here are a few fun ways to get out and meet another fellow non-drinker in the wild…

1.  Killjoy events like Twisted Tuesday’s at Gramp’s in East Nashville- they only serve non-alcoholic drinks from 5-10 pm on Tuesdays… and it is poppin! There is bound to be someone to lock eyes with, or strike up a conversation with
2. Work remote at Passage Kava Lounge– this spot is open during the day, and they encourage people to come in and work remote! You can order a coffee, or sparkling water, and start a conversation with someone after their pen falls out of their workbag
3. The gym– whether you go to one of the YMCA locations, or a boutique workout studio, it may be worth asking someone out who you already know you have something in common with!
4. Loosid dating app– I am not on this app, but am super curious and may be joining soon!
5. Run clubs like the East Nasty Run Club– Granted, I don’t run but I’ve heard good things about people finding their soulmate at a run club meetup!